Obvious whispering

Of course there will always be those that comment wherever I go.

"Are they all your boys?!"

"Oh MY you really have your hands full!"

{this comment bothers my oldest son}

But the ones who whisper so obviously about me as I walk by, seem to get under my skin more than others. I would rather them say it to my face. I am a pretty blunt person and I wish people would treat me with the same respect.

Are they whispering because I'm in the skirt? are they whispering because I have so many children? are they talking about me because they read my blog and they know I don't vaccinate? I will never know what they're saying. 

Psalm 41:7 " All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt."

Dentist Day

Motherly Love

Once upon a time, I had time for myself.  Now, my toe nails need some love.  My hair is neglected.  I can’t take a shower without an audience. Proof that somebody needs me.  Knocking on the door little fingers underneath...somebody always needs me.  There is so much to do for these little people that when I want to do something for myself I have so much guilt. (motherly guilt-another post) Or I am just too tired to do anything else.  

Somebody always needs a snack, a band-aid, a different sock, ice cubes in their water, a Toy, a tissue, a hug, a story, a kiss, a spoon, a bath,......  Some days never seem to end and it can really take its toll. Then, it all started to hit me, they need ME~Mommy.

Sometimes I enjoy being needed, but usually it is exhausting.  But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment. God made me their Mother.  It is a position I prayed for long before I would ever understand all that it would require of me.  And I have to admit this is the toughest job I have ever had. 

The sooner I can accept that means that I am never off the clock, the sooner I can find peace.   Being "Mommy" is a privilege and honor.  Being "Mommy" means I neglect myself and put others before my needs. My body is usually hurting but my heart is full of love.

Night time is the best. When my youngest crawls into bed with me. Who knows what time of night. He wraps his tiny arms around my neck and kisses me "I love you Mommy".

One day that little boy will grow up to be a man.  There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the night.  Just the rain of the sound machine. I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby.  It will just be a memory.  These years of being needed are exhausting.

I have to stop complaining of the lack of sleep and how hard some days can be. I am trying to savor every moment and enjoy the hugs and all the little things that come with each day. They grow up way too fast. I know I am going to miss these precious times so I am trying to focus on the good.  I don't have a career, my boys are my career. 
One day I will get myself back.  

But today I give myself away because they need me.

I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me.  Our boys will all be gone and busy with their own lives.  I will be in some nursing home watching my body wither away.  No one will need me then.  I might even be a burden to them.  Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home.  They won't need my kisses to cure their boo boos.  There will be no more tiny sticky fingers to wipe or shoe laces to tie.  I'm sure my heart will long to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy!"

Scavenger hunt at the park

So after the snow melted we had a really warm day. So I planned a scavenger hunt for the boys at the park and we packed lunches and took a mini field trip.

We found this hollow tree the boys loved!

The playground is really big and they all enjoyed getting out of the house.

SNOW DAYS!!!

THE B-I-B-L-E & More...

Scoliosis

So I finally made a doctor's appointment for myself and I went back for my shoulder and back muscles that have been hurting for months. She was very thorough and sympathetic for me and how have I dealt with this so long?

She noticed how swollen the muscles in my back were on the right side and suggested I start back on the muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory meds again. But this time instead of taking them only at night she said the muscle relaxers will help this heal if I take them 3 times a day as directed. The only problem with that is they make me drowsy.

She also sent me to the other office for an x-ray to make sure there wasn't anything else wrong. To my surprise the x-ray tech pointed out my spine is curved. She of course is not a doctor and was not diagnosing me with anything but she was nice enough to give me a copy of my x-rays on a disc.

I wonder if it's always been curved or is this something recent because of the swollen muscle or is this what caused the swollen back muscle??? I have so many questions now. Was I born with scoliosis and is that why I have headaches? Is there a cure or a way to fix this?

I am not sure but I have been taking the muscle relaxer for 5 days straight and it makes me so drowsy. I have a follow up with the doctor next week then an appointment with physical therapy next week also. I hope we can get this fixed so I can get back to normal {whatever that is}

Transformations

Christmas & Anniversary

 One day right before Christmas I spiked the boys hair up after baths and took pictures. They all combed it down right after the pictures because they don't like it spiked up

 The boys all got new scooters for Christmas, new movies, shoes, boots, games, DS games and much more!

 Tonia, Tim & Terri (my brother and sister)

 We had a small Christmas play at our church and our three oldest boys were shepherds. They all had verses to quote and I sang "Mary did you know?"

 Chris's mother was here for 10 days to celebrate Christmas and visit with us. She loves to shop so we did a lot of that while she was here :-D

This was the day we were taking her to the airport. She was sad to leave and we had for her to go but she had to get back to work.

The day after Christmas we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and we went to Longhorn to eat dinner. Something we never do but it's nice once in a while. We sat down in a little booth and I noticed an elderly woman in the booth behind me sitting alone. I immediately felt bad for her, wondering if she was a widow.  We told our waitress it was our anniversary she congratulated us.We ate our meal and when offered dessert we declined. We waited patiently for the ticket, but instead the waitress brought us this dessert to share (I just assumed it was compliments of longhorn) Then she told us that one of the customers in the store took care of our bill. I of course had to ask was it the woman who just left and was sitting behind me. She wanted to remain anonymous. I have NEVER had that happen to me. I have heard so many stories of people "paying it forward"....

WHAT A BLESSING! We couldn't believe that a complete stranger would pay our bill and the dessert and left a tip for our waitress.

God does still take of those that want to live for him.

Family pictures

We recently had our photos done and we love how they turned out! It's hard to get all of our boys to smile at the same time so this was definitely a challenge.

Chronic Pain

I haven't blogged in a while because my shoulder and neck have been hurting for 3-4 months. I don't remember what it's like to go a day without pain. The pain consumes me and it's hard not to talk about it or complain. I don't want to be that negative person. It's hard to think positive when I am always hurting. Over the past 6 months I have been on muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatory meds twice. No relief! I pay the boys to massage me daily and use Ice packs too. Nothing seems to ease the muscle tension in my right shoulder blade. So I have decided to become a lefty. Using my cell phone or the mouse on the computer is painful. Reaching up with my right hand and arm is miserable. Turning my head to the right HURTS! I just want one day without pain.

I am already a headache prone person so having this constant tension in my neck and shoulder instigates regular headaches. It seems like a viscous cycle. I need to get back to the doctor but just haven't found the time.

There is so much I want to blog about and share pictures but sitting here now typing this much I can feel the muscles tensing up more and more. I will overcome this! Just pray for me and I will post as soon as physically possible.

Healthy Eating

I have been learning to bake and I love it. Making something out of nothing is a good feeling.

Baking my first loaf of bread was fun! {And everyone liked it}

I have been making a lot of muffins too but can't get a

Mind Control

I started getting frequent headaches at the age of eleven. I remember very well keeping a bottle of advil in my backpack in middle school. As time went on and I got older the headaches became worse. I went to a chiropractor in high school sometimes. I also had an MRI done to check for any possible causes, but they found none.

Then when we got married and we moved to Ft. Benning I still had bad headaches and went to a chiropractor on the Army Base. I remember one time my head hurt so bad Chris had to take me to the ER in the middle of the night and they gave me some shots of medicine that knocked me out!

Throughout all my pregnancies the headaches became worse but I did notice if I took my prenatal vitamins daily it helped some. After our first son I was seeing a neurologist and he diagnosed me with "cluster headaches". I tried some different migraine medicines but I didn't like the way they made me feel and then I got pregnant with our second son so I had to stop taking them.

As I have gotten older I have learned that stress triggers tension headaches. Migraines come without warning or reason most of the time. Sinus headaches come during season changes with the most pollen in the air. I have been to an allergist and been tested but was negative for any common allergens. I have had another MRI recently and there isn't an obvious cause. Just LIFE! I get so stressed in my mind mentally about things and it affects me physically. My shoulders tense up and then it radiates into my neck and morphs into a headache.

I don't like taking pain killers so I try to avoid them. I do take migraine prescriptions as needed. And sometimes Tylenol or ibuprofen but I try avoid taking anything and usually just deal with the pain rather than take a pill with side effects. I have also spiraled out of control and had continual headaches for weeks non stop. My neurologist told me that it was "rebound headaches" from taking over-the-counter meds daily and then my body becomes dependent on them.

So I would say I usually have a headache 4 or 5 days a week. I have learned to deal with the pain. Working through it and going about my regular routine. I do know that when it gets to a certain point I cannot drive because the pain is overwhelming and I cannot think clearly sometimes.

I guess everyone has something they struggle with daily and this is mine. Some might get upset stomach from stress or high blood pressure. Not me.....I get headaches. I know things could be worse so I am thankful for the life God gave me and I am doing my best not to complain. It hard sometimes but I am trying...

When our vehicles our breaking down and we cannot afford to fix them it is stressful so I OF COURSE get a headache. When the kids won't behave or focus on school I get a headache. I need to have more faith and pray for God to help me when I am stressed out. I know He can I just always want to fix things on my own.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

If you know any good suggestions for headache or stress relief  please comment below.

When things get in the way...

....of serving God.

We are still alive I have just been so busy. And every time I sit down to blog my mind is filled all the things I want to say but not sure where to start.

So I will start with the AWFUL PILLS! I went to a neurologist in June for my headaches and trying to get to the bottom of it. I was desperate for relief. He did an MRI and found no explanation. So he suggested I start taking Topomax daily for migraine prevention. I started taking this medicine and the only side effect I noticed was lack of appetite. As time went on I was more emotional than ever before and having more anxiety. The thoughts of wanting to die and depression slowly set in. I was too afraid to tell anyone....not even my husband. I was ashamed that I would even think that way. It wasn't until September that I realized it could all be a side effect of the topomax. I did some research and learned this is also used for an anti depressant and for those who aren't depressed it can have a reverse effect.

There was a list a mile long of all the side effects and an unreal amount of suicides and suicide attempts by people who took this medicine. I immediately stopped taking it in but it took about 10 days for those bad thoughts and feelings to go away. Once all the medicine was out of my system I felt like ME again. Looking back I cannot believe the things that went through my head. It was THE HARDEST 3 months of my LIFE!
I would rather have headaches everyday!

Then our van broke! We needed a starter and we didn't have the money to fix it. Thanks to a generous family member we got it fixed and the next day the struts broke and it felt like we were on a roller coaster riding down the road. It wasn't good to drive like that so we had to borrow the church van for a couple days until we could get the struts replaced. Thanks to our church family we got that paid for too.

Our van is so old and has so many miles but we cannot afford a new one. We serviced the transmission for $250 but it still smells awful every time we drive it. Something is going bad and I fear it won't be long until we cannot all go to church because we can't fit in his car. Oh but wait, his car is falling apart too. Battery is dead now and its parked.

We also have been picking up and dropping off other kids for church squeezing our children in the back so we can fit everyone. We are praying for God to provide us with a new van one day soon so we can bring more people to church. We want to do more for God but its so hard when we don't have the means.  I hate money and how it can destroy families but if we had more to give to the ministry we would. There are so many things we would love to do like go on mission trips but its financially impossible. My dream has always been to live in an RV and travel the country singing and Chris preaching. Homeschooling on the road. It just seems like fun!

We will just keep praying and trusting God to provide a way for us to do more for Him.

People Always Ask Me....."How do you do it?"

Raising four boys is not easy. I was not trained. I am learning as I go. I tell my oldest son Jacob he taught me how to be a mother, he was my practice child. I didn't know what I was doing with him. 

God shows me everyday things I need to

Shhhhh.....

I have decided that I need to say less and do more. God gave us 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen twice as much as we talk. I believe our tongues get us in a lot of trouble I am trying to control what comes out of my mouth
so if it seems that I have been missing on the blog it's because I am trying to choose my words wisely and not say anything unnecessary. I want to make sure that what comes out of my mouth or what I post on here is only to help someone else.

Proverbs 13:3

He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

 Proverbs 15:2

The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

Proverbs 15:28

The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.

Proverbs 21:23

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

 Ecclesiastes 5:2

Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.

Our tongue is so hot God put it in a pool of water behind ivory bars!

Simply Modest Swimdress

We recently were given a FREE week in a condo courtesy of one of my blog readers. Before we went to Orlando, FL I wanted to find something to wear that would be

Jaron's yearly check up in Boston

Jaron and I flew to Boston Friday June 14th for a check up with his surgeon, dentist & speech therapist.

It was an early start waking up at 4am and heading down to Atlanta airport at 5am to beat rush hour traffic. We made our flight on time at 8:45am but we were too excited to sleep!

{Superman was right outside our window}

We landed in Boston at 11:15am and got in a taxi for the short ride to

If I could turn back time...

I would not marry anyone else. Chris is the man God had for me. I prayed for God to send me a husband before I met him. I truly believe he was sent to me by God. We fell in love

In the storms...

Sometimes storms come in my life that I may not understand. 

{6 weeks with a headache everyday}

I have learned...

I have learned...raising my children in this sinful world is hard to be set apart.

We want the world to see something different in us.

What about me!?

We went to the funeral home for a viewing and it was Jonah's first time (he remembers.) He was totally traumatized! When he saw the body he said "is that him?" And I said "yes but he's not in his body, his soul left and

The WINNER is...

I thought I was going to die....

I woke up last saturday 6th and had some toast with nutella on it then I ate a few prunes. Chris had been up all night the night before so he was sleeping. Around 8:30am my stomach started hurting and did NOT let up at all for SIX HOURS!

The pain was so bad I almost

FREE ENGRAVED STONE

I want to share a free gift with one of my readers. I will keep this giveaway open for 2 weeks and draw a name from the ones who comment on this post. I got one of these cool

Family Devotion

We try to make time every night to read the Bible to our children and teach them something from God's word.

Buggy Science Day

I got an email from the local homeschoolers group about this science day they were having and I thought the boys would love it so I signed them up. I only paid $5 per child and we

Spelling City

We were given a free month to use Spelling City and our boys LOVE IT! Everyday after completed their core subjects with homeschooling they log into their spelling city and do their assignments. I have my own teacher login where I can make my

Stomach {VIRUS}

OMGOSH this has been one of the worst weeks ever! All our boys were sick with this awful stomach virus that has apparently struck the whole country!

Throwing up and diarrhea is NO fun! Jaron started

And the winner is....

Please send email your address to me at tcote22@bellsouth.net so I can ship this package to you.

My First Giveaway! {FREE STUFF}

UPDATE: ONLY 7 MORE DAYS UNTIL I ANNOUNCE THE WINNER!

As some of you may already know my husband works at Wrigley's and we get a lot of free gum!

 

I wanna share some of it with ONE of my readers.

 

If you comment on this post I will put your name in a drawing for SEVERAL packs of gum and some peanut M&M's he brought home too!

{Mars Co. bought out Wrigley's so they give the employees CHOCOLATE sometimes}

Febraury 18th I will put all the names in a bowl and let one of the boys draw a WINNER!

So far I have over 20 packs and I will continue to add more until I draw a winner!

I am doing this to generate more readers and get my blog out there for the world to see. I want to learn how to make this a business I can do from home. I am just not sure where to start. Any suggestions???

If you want to get your name entered twice you can share my blog on your facebook page and let me know about it.

 

Just click below on the word "comment" and be entered to WIN!!!

 

$$$aving Money$$$

I have recently started to make our laundry soap and dish washing detergent. I love to find ways to save us money and this is a pretty big one with a family of 6 and as many clothes as we wash~OH YEAH definately a BIG DEAL!

Of course I got the idea from Pinterest and I want to share it with all of you!

It seems much more possible when you know someone personally that does this and it works. With FOUR boys we have some muddy stuff come through our laundry room but this stuff works just as good as Tide or anything else.

I found these ingredients at my Walmart in the laundry soap isle.

Fels-Naptha Soap Bar $0.97
Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda $3.24
Borax $2.98
You need a 5 gallon bucket with a lid too

Put 4 cups of hot water in a large pot grate the whole Fels-Naptha bar with youe cheese grater and add it all to the hot water. Stir continuously on medium heat until the soap is Melted. (about 45 minutes.)

fill up your five gallon buck halfway with hot water.
add the melted soap mixture,
add 1 cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda,
add 1/2 cup Borax
and-mixed really good.

Add more hot water to fill the bucket and stir it good

Put the lid on the bucket and let it sit overnight. It will turn into a gel. I just stirred it up some more and it was fine. All you need is 1/4 cup for each load if you have a front-load washer and 1/2 cup for a top load. This is very cheap soap!

I figure about $.06 per load!

But I still have borax & washing soda left so I used that to make my dishwasher detergent too!
I mixed 1 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
2 packs of lemonade flavor ( no sugar)
Put them in air tight container and it only takes 1 tbsp. per load.
We are saving so much money per year this way.
These days with gas prices rising almost DAILY~ every penny counts!

Oh I almost forgot to mention my new floor cleaner too!
My swifter wet jet broke last year and I hated not being able to refill that bottle anyway so I invested in a Rubbermaid one with a washable (reusable) pad and refillable bottle. LOVE IT!
Sometimes I use vinegar and water to clean the floors or baking soda & vinegar. I also add some peroxide sometimes. All these ingredients are so cheap and without all the harsh chemicals.
Actually vinegar is a good cleaner for the shower & toilet too. Peroxide is awesome for just about anything.
I plan to finish off the glass cleaner we have and make my own, so check back to see how that works out.

Vocabulary Spelling City

I've been given a Premium Membership to VocabularySpellingCity.com for a candid, personal, online review.

VocabularySpellingCity helps students study word lists using 25 different learning activities such as Sentence Unscramble, Handwriting Practice, WordSearch, and FlashCards. Parents can create their own spelling lists, find published lists already available on the site, or use any of dozens of free teaching resources on topics such as Synonyms and Figurative Language. Be sure to come back in three weeks to read about my experience.

There might be more free memberships available for bloggers. If you're interested, find out how you can review VocabularySpellingCity.com.

Wood Shop & Mess Free Fingerpainting!!!

The boys got these wooden toys for Christmas and they loved putting them together. We waited until the next day to paint them because the glue had to dry first.

And then I found this great idea online and wanted to try it out! Mess free fingerpaint. Justus was dying to get up and paint with the boys but he would have had it all over him. So as soon as they finished I squirted paint in 1gal baggies and taped it down to the counter. Jonah & Justus LOVED it!!!

There was no mess and sat still for atleast 30 minutes playing and making shapes and letters until......Jonah decided it would be cool to scratch a hole in his bag so he had orange paint on him and I had to trash his bag. Guess I could have taped it but I panicked. LOL