We've come so far

I've been reading doctors reports and preparing all my questions for our trip to Boston. My mind goes back to all those days of struggling to feed Jaron and hours in surgery. He's been so strong through it all and always smiling.

He is so beautiful inside and out. There are many days (no matter how many times I fuss at him for misbehaving) that he will walk up to me out of the blue and say "mommy...I love you". He still gets in my bed in the middle of the night and always "needs" a kiss before bedtime. I so miss his widesmile but we had to let the surgeon correct it so he will be able to live a normal life. I thank God for giving this child to us. We learned to trust in Him more than we ever had before.

Boston Here We Come!

Well we are going to Boston next week for a Children's Craniofacial Association Annual Family Retreat. They have been so generous in covering our flights and hotel expenses. This is our first time attending and I am sure it will be lots of fun. We are also going to be meeting with Jaron's surgeon and dentist at the Children's Hospital in Boston as well. I have lots of questions and can't wait to hear what they have to say about his facial growth, speech and teeth. I know there are more surgeries to come in his life and I dread them. But we have to do it because I want him to look normal and feel normal.

We have tried to instill in our children that God makes us all different and they are all special. We don't make fun or point at others because of how they look. He is going into kindergarten next year and if he comes home crying one day because someone picked on him...I think I will fall apart. That has been my worst fear. Up to this point no one has ever come right out and made fun of him or ever said anything to him about looking different. I am just putting him out there (in kindergarten) and I am so nervous. I can't stand the thought of someone breaking his heart. Please God protect my little boy.

Sunday Morning

I try to dress the boys in similar colors for church. Jaron used to have a shirt like Jonah's but I can't find it. The laundry is a little overwhelming at times, but that's why I just pile it in their closet and close the door. Out of sight....out of mind. Until Sunday when I'm looking for matching shirts. I am constantly rotating out clothes, winter, summer and the next size up. Jacob is really the only one who needs new clothes and if they don't get stained with chocolate milk, we pass them down to Jaron and if he doesn't cut them with scissors or rip holes in the knees then Jonah gets them next. I just go shopping in our attick when I need the next size for them. That is definately a blessing of having 3 boys. We have shoes everywhere and all sizes and colors. That is one thing they wear out though. We took the first picture and then Jacob said lets make a funny face!

Jaron's sticking his tongue out and if you click on the picture I'm pretty sure it will open up bigger. ENJOY!!!

Jonah dancing

We put some music in today and this is Jonah dancing with one of the little girls I babysit. So precious...

All of it....

Not the Bity...

When Jacob was little and Jaron was just starting to talk, I told them one day about the saying "I love you from the bottom of my heart". I always thought that sounded silly because if you think of the shape of a heart (we draw) its little bity. That's not enough! So I started telling them "I love you, all my heart" and Jaron said one night "not the bity...all of it". So that kinda stuck with us and we always say it every day and it's our little thang. So now I've taught it to Jonah....Every night at bedtime I say to him (after the prayers) "I love you, all my heart" and he says "not the bity....all of it." So precious. I love my boys and if this baby growing inside me is another boy I will be ok with that. God has really blessed us with very smart and handsome children. But if it's a girl.....she might be spoiled. :-D

PS. I'm going tomorrow for a regular check up and will be BEGGING for an ultrasound. I'm not supposed to be getting one and insurance may not even cover it but it can't hurt to ask.

Sometimes I wonder....

...why people don't put the trash in the can?
...if Jaron will ever learn to eat better.
...if it's wrong to take prenatal vitamins with a coke?
...will I ever feel this baby moving inside me?
...how crazy driving a car was before they invented carseats.
...why is listerine called an "Antiseptic". Are mouths septic?
...if water and soap get us clean then why do the baths and showers ever get dirty?
...what it would have been like to live in Bible days and eat all natural food
...is bottled water really any different than the water in my kitchen sink?
...where would I be today if God did not save me Nov. 16, 1996
...what will Jacob be when he grows up?
...will Jaron learn to follow the rules in kindergarten?
...will Jonah always have gorgeous eyes or will that innocence wear off?
...what would I be without my husband and our boys?
...when will I learn to go to bed at 10pm?
...how many actual readers I have on this blog?

A fly on the wall...

If you could be a fly on the wall at our house you might hear some silly things like:
"Mommy how do cows sleep?" They close their eyes just like us Jaron.
"Mommy when you drink coke does it splash on the baby's head?" (Jacob)
"No you cannot bring lightning bugs inside....they will be sad....they want to be free outside"
"if you hit your brother with that belt I will spank you with it"
"close your mouth and eat your food" (that's impossible!)
"Mommy is 'flew the coop' a bad word?" (Jaron heard it on Clifford)
"I'm gonna woop oo butt" (Jonah with a belt)
"Spongebob said stupid" (Jaron) "Well we don't repeat everything we hear on tv"
"I can't find Jesus" (Jaron looking at the clouds one day in the car)
"Where da moon?" (Jonah in the car looking out the window)
Jaron kisses my belly and Jonah says "NO MY BABY!"
Jacob said "Mommy I feel sorry for you cause they have to cut your belly to get the baby out"
I told him its ok they'll give me medicine so I won't feel it. (I've never had a c-section for those who don't know this is just easier than explaining a vaginal birth to my 7 yr old. boy)
"Don't leave food on the carpet, it makes ants" (I say this a lot and not sure why it "makes" ants but it does.)
"Get up in the chair and sit down" (kinda confusing)
And with three little boys you will hear me say on a daily basis "Get your hand out of your underwear!"

I have to start writing this stuff down. There are so many more but this pregnancy brain is erasing my memory fast. Goodnight...hitting the pillow early tonight. :-)

Pregnancy Brains...

I took the boys to the park the other day and they always have fun there but I can't get them to slow down long enough to get a picture. There is train tracks right there at the park so we got to see a HUGE train go by very loud but they loved it! Jaron didn't want me to take the picture so he put his head down.

This is my Nanny...My mother's mother. Jonah has fallen in love with her. He does this every time he sees her and is so shy he can't even talk. He just watches her talk and smiles. He kept reaching for her earrings in the car. We went to mom's for Memorial Day lunch and she rode with us. Jonah mentions Nanny almost every day. It's like he's thinking of her. So Precious.

Well I tried to get another picture of Jaron but he covered his face again. My hair looks awful but oh well. I was playing around with black and white photo editing.

Jonah wore this hat most of the day today. I'm not sure why but he loves it! I got the camera and said "Jonah smile!" he said "CHEESE (flash) let me see" He always has to see the picture after you take it.

So here's one of me and Jonah. Not the best but I also did some color editing just to see if I could make my hair not look ORANGE! What do you think?

Well I titled this pregnancy brain because that's what I have. I want to post every day but can't always remember to. Sometimes I'm too tired to think of anything to type. The other day I actually went to bed without brushing my teeth for the first time in 11 years of marraige. I know it's nasty but that just goes to show you I was exhausted. I realized it when I laid down but was too tired to get back up and do it. So right now as I type, my eyes are closing and I still haven't taken out my contacts or brushed my teeth.....

gotta go!!!

Just Us...

Jonah tried out his "Big Boy Bed" in his room today. He still sleeps in the crib and hasn't figured out how to get out on his own yet. But I thought I might try to get him comfortable in this twin bed. He LOVED it during the day with the lights on and playing and watching himself in the mirror. But when it was bedtime he was NOT ready to sleep there. So we'll try again later. (No rush....it's not like we have a baby on the way who needs the crib or anything.) :-D

Our boys relaxing after a bath watching "Kipper the Dog" before bedtime.

Jonah eating donuts and Jaron just had to jump in the picture...

Jonah got a sucker from the bank and now he looks like a smurf!

One of the girls I babysit owns this HUGE poodle. Her name is Pearl. They rescued her. She's old and is blind in one eye. She has arthritis but is very sweet. Her car broke down in my drive way so she brought the dog inside for a while to get out of the heat. We used to have a teacup poodle so Pearl was a GIANT to the boys!!!

First Ultrasound!

They couldn't really tell me very much today. They did say the baby is about 2.5 inches long and looks good so far. He said the face looks okay. No obvious clefting but he can't promise there isn't one. It's really too early to tell. They looked at the private parts but it's too early to tell that too. I go back June 28th for more definate answers. The boys were with us and they behaved well. I wish we had more to tell but the pictures are so cute they will have to do.

Random Stuff.

Jaron walked up to me today with his drink and lifted my shirt and put the straw in my belly button..."I think the baby needs a drink mommy"

Jonah bumped his ear on the coffee table today so hard that he cried for 35 minutes straight....I almost took him to the doctor....but when stepping outside the door he IMMEDIATELY stopped crying I decided it must not have been that bad.

Jacob woke up Sunday morning in a very helpful mood. As soon as I opened my eyes and walked in the kitchen he said "mommy can I help you fold the clothes?" He also cleaned his room and wiped off the counter after making a mess with his cereal. Quite the little gentleman (when he's having a good day) :-)

Baby is still growing as far as I know. Know pain or puking or anything really. I am feeling a little bit of a pooch down low and I know I will be HUGE soon. I go Thursday for my first ultrasound at the specialist. I am anxious, nervous and excited. I hope everything is ok with the baby and I hope we get some good clear images to post online and show the boys.

The boys kiss my belly daily and talk to the baby. Jonah has learned to say his prayers and he loves it so much we pray before naptime and bedtime. It goes like this "thank you Jesus for today, church, Bible, preacher, cross, mommy, daddy, jacob, jaron, baby belly, nanny, oma, peepaw, granna, pappa, meme, pepe Jesus name amen." Sometimes we add other people but this is all he will sit still for right now. It's so cute to hear him but can't get him to do it all on camera yet. Maybe Chris can hide and record for me....

Another tooth brush went in the toilet today.... :-P GROSS!!!

First Grade Awards

I went to Jacob's school last thursday for his awards ceremony. I had my camera on and ready I knew he was gonna get one. He clapped and cheered on all the other children who even got more than one. He was so happy for all of them. My heart sank when it was all finished and he didn't get one. I felt so bad for him but he was smiling and happy I was there. He didn't even care. How precious. He taught me a lesson that day. Click on the picture and you can see it larger. He's sitting beside the girl in the green shirt.

Then we were invited to his classroom for icecream and cupcakes. There the teacher gave them all a certificate for different things...giving, helper, good reader, good writer....Jacob's was for being so enthusiastic about school. She cried when she gave it to him. Mrs. Smith was a good teacher and we will miss her.

Oh I had Jaron with me and he jumped in the picture. He was a little upset that Jacob didn't get an award but then we got his classroom and Jaron wanted to know where his desk was. I tried to explain to him he has to wait until August but he didn't seem to care. He was so excited to be at school and he cannot wait to meet his teacher and "all the kids". Oh I figured it up the other day....Jacob will be 13 when the baby I am carrying is ready for kindergarten. WHAT!!!

Boys will be boys...

Well I know I haven't been taking pictures daily. So the thought crossed my mind yesterday to get my camera and capture the moment. Jacob was at school and Jaron and Jonah were just being themselves. This is a daily occurrence at our house. Jonah is almost as big as Jaron and he's only 2, but Jaron will be 5 in June. It is pretty funny to see Jonah tackle Jaron to the ground.

Now I'm trying to teach them that the girls I babysit (1 yr olds) don't want to be tackled.

The Mother In Me

I have basically always wanted children. Wanted to be a mother. I thought mothering would be so wonderful, so magical, and so lovely. Naming, dressing and playing with many small children all day long? What could be better!?

And, even though, back then, I was a bit hazy on some of the finer details associated with parenting (you know, like dying llama hissy fits, sippy cups full of mold behind the couch, stretch marks and time outs), I still think I hit the nail on the head. There is very little that is better than mothering. But not exactly for the reasons I first thought.

Sure, there are wonderful moments in mothering, magical memories created with our offspring, lovely late-night snuggles with heavy-lidded babies. But parenting is also hard work. And it's not glamorous. We don't often get the support we need, we struggle with mother's guilt and sometimes feel we need to keep up with the Jones'. Our children sass back and our best-laid plans are trampled on. We must often face our own shortcomings, because they are revealed to us so readily as we make attempts, but fail, at being perfect parents.

But there is good that can be brought forth from the hurt that parenting sometimes brings. Moments of revelation to be found even amidst the clamor of many small children. Beauty to be derived out of the ashes of mother failure. Joy that can only be discovered in helping God create another human being. There is meaning in the mundane, a purpose beyond potty-training, and a peace that can only be gained when one has learned to calmly deal with a tantruming toddler at Target. Having children is worth it. And, although I was inspired to start my family for one reason, My husband and I have continued for another. I love making our family.

But I don't love it for the dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the cracked nipples or the endless whining. I don't love it for the dings in our walls, the screeching down the halls or the midnight calls.I love it in spite of all that. And I love mothering for how wading through all the difficulties that mothering brings transforms me for the better. Mothering is one of the toughest, most beautiful things I have ever done.And it's totally worth it.I desire to be an encouragement to others about starting their own family. And, to those who already have, I long to be a support, and never a hindrance, in their journey to discover exactly how wonderful parenting is.

I read this on McKMama's Blog and I agree with every word. I did ask her permission to copy it and she didn't mind at all. I love the way she words things I could never say it all like this but it is really how I feel.

I have learned...

-not to give my 2 year old a bag of cheez its or I will be vacuuming that day.
-towel racks do not hold 4 year old little boys (we have a hole in the wall to prove it)
-freaking out when coffee is accidently spilled on you is not going to clean up the mess....(I hate the smell of coffee but atleast it wasn't hot)
-kicking toys under the coffee table is a quick way to clean up if you have a visitor :-)
-cleaning up at bedtime would be easier if I had a snow shovel
-not to let my boys squeeze out their own toothpaste
-never leave the bathroom door open with a 2 year old in the house, you might just find a hair brush or two in the toilet!!!
-oh and night lights and plug-ins don't work after being in the toilet either.
-keeping extra toothbrushes in the house is a must because they have to go in the trash after touching the toilet water
-that little boys love to wrestle and someone will come to me crying usually in the first 3 minutes
-that chapstick is a good toy in church but will no longer be usuable
-not to panic when my kids spill drinks because they all drink water, it will dry and it's not sticky!!!
-potty training takes time and lots of changes of clothes.
-when your kids knock their tv on the floor upside down it ruines the dvd player built in
-if your son puts your cell phone in a glass of water you can take it apart and dry it with a hairdryer and it will be fine
-stepping on a lego will make you mad
-but stepping on a toy fighter jet will make you scream!
-little boys love caterpillers and would love to bring them inside....NOT my house!
-going to bed earlier makes the next day a little easier....goodnight! :-)

It's not been easy....

....but I am still alive. I might have spoke too soon about having less headaches. I got one saturday and could NOT get rid of it SO I went to bed with it and woke up with a full blown migraine! Not fun...I am used to functioning with a regular headache but a migraine is a whole other story. I couldn't barely move my head and would have rather kept my eyes closed. Because I am pregnant I can only take Tylenol and it usually doesn't help at all. But I said a prayer and took 3 tylenol before getting in the shower this morning. Blow drying my hair was like TORTURE but had to be done. Chris suggested I stay home from church but I didn't want to let the devil steal my joy. I kept telling myself it's going to get better so I got dressed and ironed the boys clothes and sat down to rest on the couch for a few minutes. When I got up, 2 hours after taking the tylenol, the headache was gone! I was so thankful and now just needed a boost of energy to get to church. So I drank a coke and we went to church. I took the boys to the park saturday but forgot to bring the camera. (can't think straight when my head hurts) It was pouring rain when we got out of church tonight but I am thankful for the rain. We are still on a water restriction in our county and maybe they lift it soon. My boys love to play in the sprinkler. Anyway...I feel like that was just one big run sentence. I need to go to bed.

Videos!!!

Well I finally broke down and contacted Kodak last night about my camera clicking when I'm trying to record. They told me how to fix the settings and VIOLA! We have videos...these are only the beginning people...trust me there will be lots more to come. I just need to buy a memory card that will hold more than 49 seconds now.




Me interviewing Jacob...






Asking Jaron a few questions too.







Jonah saying his ABC's kinda..at the end he even said "now I know my abc's next time won't you sing with me" (very fast and muffled though)...notice he stops halfway through saying "Me see" he wants to see on the camera...